SilverJacket

Thumbs Up to Masturbation!

The ad placement is just too good. Click for full size.

Link to story. The idea that masturbation prevents prostate cancer is not new by the way.

UPDATE: Per the comments, my sister sees the following ad with the story. I sure as hell want to prevent anything resembling those things. BRB.

TURN UP THE JUICE!!

My boss sent me this.

Transformers

If you haven't seen them already, you really need to check out these amazing, amazing photos of kids' science fair projects. For so many of them I can't even imagine what the null hypothesis could be. It's like science from a semi-parallel universe.

I can't really make fun of how the kids look, though, because check out this pic of my two best friends (since 6th grade), Ken and Glen:

And see how they turned out:

Reminds me of the tale of another computer hacker's transformation:

I am awesome for unspecified reasons!

It's funny to me that Dan Ariely & co. are using HOTorNOT for research purposes. First, because I didn't realize that site was still around. Second, because a few years ago, when I was a HoN profile moderator (responsible for viewing people's submitted pics and personal statements and approving or rejecting them), I emailed a friend, "After painfully reading over 1000 profiles I think I could write a sociology dissertation on it." Also: "I have gained a tragic glimpse into the heart of human nature."

Read the full post at Brainstorm.

Just Say Maybe

Focus on Hallucinogens: This is a little gem I've held onto since my friends Ken and Glen mailed it to me as part of a care package when I was working in Alaska after high school. It's from 1991 and out of print but still in near-perfect condition. I wrote children's science books for two years but never wrote one as fun or useful as this. It explains to 9-year-olds everything from neurons to shamans. Rad!

It's basically a My First Reader version of D.M. Turner's The Essential Psychedelic Guide, minus the special section on how much ketamine to inject when you're on DMT and nitrous. The prose is lucid, but the pictures crack me up. Take the cover. Look kids, in a drug free zone, you can do all kinds of things, like play tic-tac-toe. Or even watch people play tic-tac-toe! And remember, friends don't let friends wear non-footie pants.

In some cases the book might be counterproductive: "Have you ever looked at yourself in an amusement park mirror? Look what happened to you! Now, try to imagine that the whole world looked that way to you." Awesome! Where can I get some?

The best pictures are in the chapter on LSD.

The text above this one reminds me of an Ali G interview with a drug expert:

Ali G: And what is its effects?
Guy: You can go paranoid, which means you think people or things are coming at you. It makes your heart race. Your blood pressure can go low, so you can feel a bit woozy sometimes. It’s got a lot of medical effects on the body.
Ali G: And is there any negative effects?

Ali G: Which is the type of acid that actually make you fly?
Guy: No acid makes you fly. Acid can make you think you fly.
Ali G: But ain't there one, cause me mate Dave said that he took this type, and he flew all around the room and then his mum told him to get some ciggies from the shop, and he actually flew there and flew back and was back in like five seconds or whatever, but he'd forgotten to buy ciggies.

This picture just makes me wonder what's wrong with this dude's friends. I mean, he's obviously flipping out about something, and they're just standing there waving at him with those shit-eating grins. Seriously kids, that is your brain on tic-tac-toe.

Remember Sally

Everything I need to know about the internets I learned from Gabe and Max.

After using the program advertised above, though, I still had one burning question: "Exactly how many internets are there? Which one works best with Binary?" I guess that's two.

Anywho, Gabe and Max were nice enough to provide an answer: five.

Thanks, Gabe and Max!

Bunnydome

To complete the Mad Max effect, Burning Man has its own Thunderdome. Two people dangle from the top via bungee cords and go at each other with padded bats.

This year the Billion Bunny March descended upon the 'dome and claimed it as their own. I was not there to witness the event, but legend has it that the following was uttered: "Two bunnies enter, 40 bunnies leave."

[image sources: 1, 2]

LOLcat vs LOLCAT

Last month my colleague Jay Dixit added the following LOLcat to the oeuvre:

Today Congressman Dennis Hastert prepared the following response:

He could, of course, have borrowed Jay's caption verbatim, but that would have set a deadly example for his lolstituents (see number 3.)

[Previous 'cats: 1, 2]

RIP LOLcats. Enter WTFcats.

[image source]

Previously: Ur peoples haz flavor.

Ur peoples haz flavor.

(I can't take credit for the underlying feline photohack.)

I can has ur planet? I can has your planet?