SilverJacket

The Rapper as Comedian

Hip hop has long been a venue for laughter. Consider songs like Eminem’s “My Name Is” (“Dr. Dre, don’t just stand there, operate”) and Digital Underground’s “The Humpty Dance” (“I use a word that don’t mean nothing, like looptid”). But even songs that on the surface appear hard sparkle with puns and one-liners. The lyrical intermingling of menace and mirth may derive from a tradition in Black culture known as the Dozens, a game in which contestants trade snaps, aka yo’ mama jokes, hoping to both intimidate opponents and entertain onlookers.

Bothersome Prepositions

People are weird with prepositions. Here’s a list of offenses that irk me. Granted, many are idiomatic and likely escape your definition of “mistake,” but why use an idiomatic preposition when a plainly sensical one will do?

Who's Your Daddy on First?

Yesterday I had an absurd text chat with a representative of GoDaddy, which hosts my SilverJacket.com website and email server. Over the years, their support has been good, but this chat was practically "Who's on First?" At one point I wondered if I was being trolled, even though it was the day after April Fool's Day. Here is the transcript. To save yourself the 55 minutes I spent, you can just read the blue.

ELIZA versus AZILE

ELIZA was one of the first chatbots, a mock-therapists programmed in the 1960s to show that even superficial responses could draw people in. AZILE was was written in 1992 as her evil twin. (AZILE is ELIZA backward.) Not long after AZILE’s introduction, I pit the two against each other, copying-and-pasitng their responses from one program to the other on my computer. I’ve retained the coversation for posterity. 

84% of women fail at mirror selfies

It seems like if you’re posing for a portrait, there are some common-sense rules. Look at the camera lens. Don’t hold a phone in front of your face. But somehow when people use a mirror to take their own portrait, these basic rules are forgotten. I documented 100 consecutive mirror selfies on popular dating apps (Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, The League, and Tinder), noting whether they failed and how. The main conclusion: The vast majority failed. 

Motor Trend: C-Pillar, Interrupted

I've noticed a trend on the roads today.

 

:2015 Nissan Murano

The Shocking Identity of Supreme Leader Snoke

After watching Star Wars: The Force Awakens last month with my brother-in-law, I suggested that there was nothing hugely surprising, at least not on the level of “I am your father.” And I wondered aloud what could have been revealed (or might be revealed in Episode VIII) to shock me. Of course there are rumors that Luke is Rey’s father, or that Jar Jar Binks is Rey’s father, but that’s a lot of father business and we’ve been there.

So, I suggested, what if Supreme Leader Snoke is actually Kylo Ren, from the future? They’re both bad guys sensitive to the force, they both do or will suffer scarring on their faces, and you never see them in the same room together, as Kylo talks to Snoke’s hologram. How do they converse, you ask? I suggest something along the lines of the Doctor Who episode “Blink,” in which Sally converses with a DVD recording of The Doctor. The Doctor makes this possible by obtaining a transcript of the conversation written by an observer and taking it into the past to make the recording before Sally encounters the DVD. (This form of interaction might require several trips, à la Edge of Tomorrow.)

Sure, time travel isn’t really a Star Wars thing, but consider that the next episode will be written and directed by Rian Johnson, the writer and director of Looper, a film about a man tasked with killing a version of himself sent from the future. And the following episode will be written by Johnson and directed by Colin Trevorrow, the director of Safety Not Guaranteed, a movie about the use of a time machine. Instead of “I am your father,” it’s “ 'Sup bigguy. You don’t age well.” 

Under Armour Is a Bad Name

When Under Armour started, in 1996, it had a great name.

Ambigram Logos

Ambigrams—pieces of writing that can say two different things, depending on perspective—highlight the flexibility of human thought.

How NOT to Crop Your College Essay

The New York Times reported Friday on a new requirement in the Common Application, the admissions application used by 400 colleges: personal essays can't go over 500 words. Is that enough? I don't know, but if you write long and start lopping, be careful. Learn from my mistake.