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January 21, 2006



Chuck Norris waits for the "don't walk" signal at intersections before crossing.


if you put this one;

"If Chuck Norris were to cry, his tears would cry too, because he would punch the first tears for embarrassing him."

on a tee-shirt I would buy it - for reals.


Mt. Everest is one of Chuck Norris' balls.

(That was my favorite of yours, I don't know why you didn't salvage it, fix the typos, and add it to the canon. When Chuck Norris and I get wacky and start trading new ones back and forth, the new ones he trades are kicks and punches, and he salvages all of them, fixes none, and loads them all in a cannon.)

Matt Hutson

My favorite of Liz's:

"CN tells people his insane SAT score is the combination of two separate testings to make them feel better... CN's SAT score was the combination of 0 testings."

Or maybe:

"a girl i work with drank her own urine once"

Oh, wait, that came after we changed the subject. Scratch that.


the bassline to "under pressure," by Queen and David Bowie, also used in Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby," is actually a recording of Chuck's guts when he has gas.

Jenn aka JeSais aka SushiSlut

"Chuck Norris can manifest paradoxes and intimidate God, often with the use of his trusty roundhouse kick."

Yeah, but McGyver can do that with a stick of chewing gum and an inch of twine!

Kent Roberts

Chuck Norris gave birth to himself, and then immediately roundhouse kicked himself for forgetting to take his birth control.


"Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice."


only chuck norris can touch mc Hammer


People workout on a bowflex, and a bowflexs workouts on Chuck Norris


there is only one state, the state of being knocked the fuck out by chuck norris


Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting...Chuck Norris goes killing...


When the Boogie Man goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

brandon webb

chuck norris dosen't sleep, he waits

brandon webb

tidal waves arent created by earthquakes, they are created when chuck norris does a cannon ball

Peter Meijer

They once made chuck norris toilet paper, but it wouldn`t take shit from anyone


When Chuck Norris does a push up, its the Earth that moves.

runes of magic gold

tidal waves arent created by earthquakes, they are created when chuck norris does a cannon ball

Timothy Eastwood

"Chuck Norris doesn't need to minimize programs to see the desktop, Chuck Norris sees all."

This is my current favorite fact about Chuck Norris. Another thing is, growing up watching his appearances and the movie "Way of the Dragon" opposite Bruce Lee impresses me a lot more. Come on, it is a battle between East and West, Kung-Fu versus Karate. Still, they are both awesome.

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